Friday, October 9, 2009

Losing Youself

It is so easy to lose yourself, and even harder to find yourself. Often times I’ve been told that its not about me, but then I’m always left wanting to say, then when is it? I just finished reading the book “Jesus Wants To Save Christians” by Rob Bell (co-author), and the pretty much sum up what I thought was the whole point was that it is not about being a christian, its about being like Christ. You maybe asking isn't being a Christian suppose to be about being like Christ? Yes, but I feel that many churches and in general religion has lost touch with what being like Christ is suppose to be. So how this tie in with losing yourself?

It ties in, because if we are all created in the image of God then how is that we loose sight of who we are to strife to be. For myself, it was losing my self to world of pride and selfishness. During my time as a personal assistant I found myself becoming more and more like the people I worked with and becoming who they taught I should be, instead of me. Something inside me kept screaming to get out, but I was convinced of myself and that this is who I am and what I was meant to be doing. It was nice to be seen in the public and recognized, but what I was learning was that no one really knew me, they knew about me because of who I worked for but other than that they didn't really care. I feel into deep depression of which to this point I’ve never really spoken about or written about.

So what does this have to do with finding oneself, Everything. In order to find myself or find who I am suppose to be, I need to look at the person who created me, and knew before I came into existence (Isaiah 49:1b “ The Lord has called Me from the womb; From the matrix of My mother he has made mention of My name.”). So if God knew what my name was going be before my own mother, then he has to know what my purpose in life is to be. Oh, how I have lost sight of him and what he has to say. It is very easy to loose ourselves to things that satisfy our sinful nature, because at the moment that they present themselves they seem as the greatest thing around, but slowly you come into the realization that its never enough you want more.